The Stars Over Germaine for July

In general, the stars over Germaine are prevaricating.
(March 21-April 20)

That restlessness you’ve been feeling might result in a drastic shift. You may choose to quit your job, leave your family, blow-up a symbolic bridge. You might not like the fall-out. You are likely to have conflict in romantic area. Divest all your stocks early in the month, before the 8th. You’ll be sorry if you wait until after the 27th.

(April 21-May 20)

You see her again on the 12th. She’s been out of your life along time. You’re sure this time will be different. Your family will threaten to shun you if you take up with her again, but your family says that about all your girlfriends. Hypnotic regression might help you sort out familial discord.

(May 21-June 20)

You are in a rare and amazing place right now. You feel generous and expansive. You could embrace the whole world. Everyone from the mayor to the Wildman of the Ochocos seeks your advise on matters ranging from municipal liability to personal hygiene. Be humble. Remember what happened last time.

(June 21-July 22)

After you consult with your Gemini friend things will start looking up. Your employees will show much more interest in their work and the key to the storeroom that’s been missing will suddenly appear on your desk blotter next to the picture of your cat, Van Buren. The key is a sign, the cat is not.

(July 23-Aug. 22)

You will go on retreat to Mt Angel this month and then spend a few days with your daughter in Coos Bay. Be careful driving back from the coast as there might be traffic problems that could cause significant delays. Now is a good time to invest in stock. Ask around town, someone might be selling.

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Self-examination this month will help you find fulfillment as you care for your auntie. There will be a rough spot early in the month when your best friend is offended by an off-hand remark about her choice of men. When you are thinking about criticizing her, I just have one thing to say: Remember your 4th grade field trip to the fossil beds? Enough said.

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

The new checker at Aratola’s has been hard on your grocery fund this month. If you are going to keep this up you might thnk about becoming a personal shopper because there’s no more room in the pantry and no money in the bank.

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Uranus has a hold on you this month. You will find you have an uncontrollable urge to exhibit socially unpopular behavior in your efforts to express your deepest artistic voice. Some people crochet, some knit, some create massive sculptures, but you among all the artists of Germaine, you find the rarest mode of expression–remember to use lots of sunscreen.

(Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Jupiter will bring you out of that blue funk you’ve been in for a couple of years. People seem to have finally forgotten about what happened at the Rotary Breakfast. The stubbornness and blind faith that have kept you afloat will begin to falter as you rely more on reason and art.

(Dec.22-Jan. 19)

Every morning for six months you have buried a marble in the backyard. This act has lost all meaning. You are only doing it because it has become habit. Time to break free of this senseless addiction. A brief affair with the man you met in Redmond at the Co-op wil seem like the best thing that has happened in a long time and it will be, but don’t get your hopes up. The passion will melt away like butter on a hot griddle by the end of September.

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

This certainly is an interesting time for you. This town doesn’t usually provide a real crime scene. Here’s a chance to put your investigative skills to the test and impress! You would do well to expand your comfort zone.

(Feb. 19-March 20)

The spotlight will hang over you this month. It will be welcome at first, but may get a little hot and annoying by the end of July. With everyone watching you, you will start paying more attention to how you look and changes you make in your diet and exercise routine will have long-term effects.

If Your Birthday Is in July

I’m sorry.

Disclaimer: This horoscope is presented for entertainment purposes only. The Germaine Truth does not endorse any particular system of divination.

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