Bones found in Wilbur County

by Howard Apple­gate
    The Truth learned this after­noon that human bones have been found in rur­al Wilbur Coun­ty.
    In a dra­mat­ic dis­play, a dis­grun­tled Har­lan McCoy lit­er­al­ly deposit­ed a bag of bones in Sher­iff Tony Sweet’s lap. At the time, the Sher­iff was being inter­viewed for Radio Ger­maine for a Mar­tin Luther King Day broad­cast about the prob­lem of hate crimes in Cen­tral Ore­gon.
    Accord­ing to stunned radio host, Pat­ty Jo Mac, McCoy burst into the usu­al­ly qui­et Ger­maine Cafe car­ry­ing a gun­ny sack which he dropped on the table in front of Sweet.
    “He was real huffy,” said Mac, “He mum­bled ‘I think these might have fall­en out of your clos­et, Sheriff,’ and stomped out. I’ve nev­er seen the Sher­iff so furious.”
    Mac said some of the bones tum­bled out into the Sheriff’s lap. Sweet then gath­ered up the remains and left.
    “Didn’t even say a word,” said Tsala­gi Red, Mac’s co-host, “needless to say, that was the end of the interview.”
    Sher­iff Sweet refused to return calls from The Ger­maine Truth. Deputy Shawn Hin­terteil said the bones would be exam­ined, prob­a­bly at the foren­sics lab in Bend. McCoy will also be ques­tioned about the cir­cum­stances in which the bones were found.
    “We’re also look­ing at pos­si­ble charges against Har­lan McCoy,” said Hin­terteil. “These remains seem to be fair­ly recent, and it’s a seri­ous offense to dis­rupt a pos­si­ble crime scene.”
    By recent, Hin­terteil said he meant with­in the past fifty or six­ty years.
    The deputy refused to elab­o­rate fur­ther, only say­ing that Sher­iff Sweet would hold a press con­fer­ence with­in a week.
    Efforts to con­tact Har­lan McCoy were unsuc­cess­ful.

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