Madame Zorro


The Stars Over Germaine
horoscope for June

In gen­er­al, the stars over Ger­maine are obfus­cat­ing.
Aries (March 21-April 20)

So you’ve found love at last. Things are going pret­ty good. You’re feel­ing on top of the world. Just a lit­tle cau­tion here, come the 4th of June you’ll run into a bit of a snag. Love will stall like an over­loaded don­key and just sit there star­ing at you stub­born­ly, occa­sion­al­ly bray­ing until the 7th when you sud­den­ly wake up and light­en the load. You’ll be back on the romance trail with your favorite beast of bur­den. About the 10th you will have a set­back where social graces are con­cerned, but no prob this is just an oppor­tu­ni­ty to grow.

Tau­rus (April 21-May 20)

It’s all busi­ness with you this month. Start off the month by tak­ing stock of your strengths then up to the 7th, don’t be a wuss. Stand up! About the 10th or so, you will be sit­ting in your chevy nova at the light in Ger­maine when you are hit by a powerul inspi­ra­tion. As a result you will leap over, smash through, and gen­er­al­ly oblit­er­ate all obsta­cles in your path. Don’t buy any­thing on the 15th or 16th. Com­par­i­son shop. Look, but don’t touch. Because on the 17th you’ll be able to final­ly trade that old heap in on a decent car. You’ll put a lit­tle more mon­ey out than you real­ly can afford, but you will make it through and after the 23rd you’ll be able to smile you’re way to the end of the month.

Gem­i­ni (May 21-June 20)

Just between you and me there are times when you could throt­tle down the word­stream a notch or two. I think you know what I mean. The first three days of June?–one of those times. Prac­tice silence, go to a moun­tain top, row out to the mid­dle of the lake, any­thing to avoid say­ing that thing on your mind about your moth­er-in-law, your sis­ter, your best friend, your boss … After the 3rd, who cares? In fact, come the 9th, your pow­er­ful con­ver­sa­tions will turn you a prof­it and pro­vide some mon­ey sav­ing to boot. Hot damn! Around the 16th you’ll come across some road­blocks, but you’ll be able to con­vince Sher­iff Sweet that you were home in bed when it hap­pened. On the 21st your strong opin­ions will rile up your drink­ing bud­dies at The Roundup and they’ll take you out in the park­ing lot to teach you some man­ners. A shift in the plan­ets will cause a car acci­dent and every­body will be dis­tract­ed long enough for you to high­tail it out of there. Nobody remem­bers any­thing and you get your shine back near the end of the month and you’re everyone’s doll, beam­ing like a star, full of chutz­pah and look­ing good on the 28th and beyond.

Can­cer (June 21-July 22)


Up to the 4th of June you are build­ing up to a process that will take place from the 4th through the 7th. Changes. Broth­er can you spare a change? You must change. Can’t keep those old ideas in the face of what you know now. Change might hurt at first, but you’ll be okay. By the 9th you will have absolute­ly put on a new shell. This is one of those times when Can­cer is a her­mit crab–so pick out a new “home” for the new you. Sharp as a tack, you become pos­i­tive­ly opti­mistic and the response is deafening–hear the crowd roar. We’re with you all the way up to the 11th. By the 15th things may get a lit­tle dicey. Just keep to that new row you are hoe­ing and you can’t go wrong. The 18th through the 19th is a time to let go of old grudges. Go on down to the Wilbur Coun­ty lock­up and tell that punk who stole the milk can your aunt Lil­ly tole-paint­ed off your porch that since you got it back and it’s not a bit dam­aged that you won’t press charges after all. You’ll feel bet­ter and you will arrive on the 25th cleansed and look­ing for­ward, mak­ing new plans.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

You know how you sort of pre­tend? Maybe pre­tend is too strong, how you some­times aren’t com­plete­ly truth­ful? Well, here’s the watch word for the begin­ning of June–Honesty. Be real and inti­ma­cy and trust will fol­low and by the 9th you will have adjust­ed to your new meth­ods. Now you can start fan­ta­siz­ing. Every­one knows you want to. Go with it. Get crazy. Then start adjust­ing your dreams around the 15th. Keep what you are real­ly hap­py with, jet­ti­son the rest and keep your ener­gy flu­id through the next few days. There are some rough rapids ahead on the 23rd to the 25th, but if you have some real­is­tic plans in place you’ll come to shore with most of the gear you had with you.

Vir­go (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Here’s a real no-brain­er for a saint like you–share that deep secret in the utmost pri­va­cy. Don’t go blab­bing it at the cyber cafe that you’ve just dis­cov­ered you have a lead on who set fire to the old Arling­ton house. On the 9th a major insight will blos­som and pro­vide you with answers to some of life’s deep­est ques­tions. These would also be best kept to your­self. All that sup­pres­sion is good for you. Builds pres­sure. You can use some pres­sure to pro­pel you to new heights come the 18th. On the 21st, you’ll want to make sure you’re head­ing in the direc­tion you want. If you don’t con­sult the map, you’ll end up in Jor­dan Val­ley instead of Mon­u­ment. The heights you man­aged to attain are a lit­tle scary, but humor will see you through on the 28th.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

You know how a rub­ber band lasts a lot longer in the stretch and bend cat­e­go­ry than say a piece of bal­sa wood? There’s a les­son or an alle­go­ry in there some­where. Some­thing about strength like that song about the wil­low and the oak. DON’T BE A RIGID FOOL! You’ll find your­self pulled in more than one direc­tion on the 9th and this state of inde­ci­sion will last through the 12th. You will be very frus­tat­ed, espe­cial­ly if you insist on being RIGID. Cre­ate some­thing. Turn all that frus­tra­tion into some­thing beau­ti­ful. You’ll be amazed at the rewards await­ing you from such effort on the 21st to 24th.

Scor­pio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

The 1st through the 7th you will be locked in the bath­room with the tele­phone try­ing to nego­ti­ate your way out of trou­ble. Get a cell phone and get out­side. On the 7th it all becomes very intense for you and remains so for two days. You must toe the line here, be very care­ful. If you are strict with your­self, by the 16th, you will find that dis­ci­pline is impor­tant and you will begin to focus your thoughts and ener­gy on that one desire you’ve held for so long, but nev­er thought you could attain. By the 20th you are the mas­ter of all you sur­vey. You have some relief from the straight and nar­row and bust loose on the 24th. You’ve been want­i­ng to even the score with that jok­er (you know who I’m talk­ing about), go ahead. Don’t be too hard on your­self as you look back near the end of the month. Every­body has to have a lit­tle fun.

Sagit­tar­ius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

You are a methodist. June 1st is no time to devi­ate from the path, ver­i­fy facts. On the 7th through the 9th you will find your­self sit­ting on the rock wall over­look­ing Tama­rack Creek and you will real­ize this is the most won­der­ful place to be. Please be cau­tious on the 15th and remem­ber that silence can be it’s own reward. From the 19th to the 22nd your sis­ter will be vis­it­ing. While the two of you are sit­ting in your kitchen enjoy­ing the drift of dust­motes she will sud­den­ly tell you that she wants you to invest in a off-shore drilling project in Ice­land. As good as it sounds, don’t be tempt­ed to throw cau­tion to the winds. Delib­er­ate and check all the facts. Nor­mal­ly, you are the one to extend a help­ing hand, but on the 30th let it be you on the receiv­ing end. It can be a gen­er­ous act.

Capri­corn (Dec.22-Jan. 19)

What­ev­er you’ve been doing, it’s going to come to light and you’ll have nowhere to hide by the 3rd, at the lat­est, the 4th. For five days out on the desert, you will be ques­tioned, grilled, inter­ro­gat­ed. On the 9th you will be set free. Not with­out dam­age. That frus­tra­tion, anguish, anger you’re feeling—channel it. Make some­thing with it. But lis­ten, you’ll be tempt­ed to make some seri­ous deci­sions by the 22nd. Don’t, okay? Not a good idea, espe­cial­ly ones that will effect you for a long time.

Aquar­ius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

This is a rela­tion­ship month for you. Your boyfriend is going to do some things that will make it hard to stay with him. Maybe you shouldn’t. Who knows? You’ll have it in the past by the end of the first week of June. For the three days of the 9th through the 12th, you will be over­flow­ing with all sorts of scin­til­lat­ing ideas, prob­a­bly ener­gy from the break-up. After­wards you will encounter frus­tra­tion around the 19th that will test your resolve. Don’t be a mar­tyr like you were a cou­ple of years ago when you broke up with LeRoy. Find some­one to share your feel­ings with–maybe LeRoy. I mean why did you break up with him? The 25th would be opti­mal for your heart-to-heart talk.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

You’ve made some mis­takes. Doesn’t every­body? Okay, yours are pret­ty intense, but what could you have done with that “package”? It’s been a cou­ple of years now. Start eas­ing up on your­self around the 6th and 7th and on the 9th through the 10th you’ll have the oppor­tu­ni­ty for abso­lu­tion. I don’t know how all that Catholic stuff works, but take advan­tage of it. I’m see­ing a spe­cial kind of love, one with­out the usu­al sac­ri­fices, appear­ing for you on the 15th. Make your­self inno­cent like a child and let your­self be influ­enced by that child with­in. The 30th will be your lucky day.


If Your Birth­day Is in June
You are either a Gem­i­ni or a Can­cer. You have your cross­es. Mon­ey is a con­stant con­cern. Not that you don’t have enough of it, just that you tend the mon­ey tree with more dili­gence than the rest of the signs. You are a tad impa­tient with those you con­sid­er fool­ish. A word to the wise for the Crabs: You do have vast reserves of empa­thy, but some­times you just don’t want to vis­it that part of you. Here’s the truth, you are alive one moment and dead the next, it doesn’t hurt to let the ones you love know how you feel. To the Twins, I must say: No one works hard­er than you do. In the end you will have to leave it all behind.

Dis­claimer: This horo­scope is pre­sent­ed for enter­tain­ment pur­pos­es only. The Ger­maine Truth does not endorse any par­tic­u­lar sys­tem of div­ina­tion.
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