Madame Zorro foresees trouble in near future for town of Germaine

Madame Zor­ro con­tent


The Stars Over Germaine — horoscope by Madame Zorro

In gen­er­al, the stars over Ger­maine are equiv­o­cat­ing.
Tau­rus (April 20-May 20)

Look out Tau­rus! Is this real­ly the time to make that trip to Far­go? By car? Even the best laid plans can get way-laid. Take the train. Chances are you will meet your one and only. If you do, come back and see us some­time.

Gem­i­ni (May 21-June 20)

It’s Decem­ber and Gem­i­ni is hav­ing a bi-polar moment. Down one day, up the next. Well, at least you’ll get that attic cleaned out, and the base­ment, and the garage, and the neigh­bors shed. You’ll get plen­ty of sleep too. Your fam­i­ly is going to take it kind of hard, so expect a vis­it from a process serv­er.

Can­cer (June 21-July 22)

While Can­cers in oth­er parts of the coun­try are wor­ry­ing about their chil­dren and argu­ing with sig­nif­i­cant oth­ers, Ger­maine Can­cers will expe­ri­enc­ing tran­quil­i­ty. It may be the lull before the storm, or it may be that you’ve already alien­at­ed every­one remote­ly relat­ed to you. What­ev­er it is, enjoy it while it lasts. And if your neigh­bor is a Can­cer, offer them a nice hot choco­late when they are done clean­ing out your shed.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

Yeah, yeah, you’re the lion. Brush your famous mane of hair, put a clip in it, sit down and shut up. Let some­one else take the lead for a change. If your spouse wants to go to John Day by way of Kla­math Falls, will it kill you?

Vir­go (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Per­fec­tion is rel­a­tive. Nobody gets it right all the time. But you are on a roll. One thing, return your phone calls. Your friends just want to know that you’re still alive. Be ready for sur­prizes around the 18th or 19th. Mer­cury and Uranus are going to com­bine to make that trip out the door as chancy as bush-hop­ping the Yukon in Jan­u­ary.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

While you are bal­anc­ing the world, return­ing jus­tice to the wronged, feed­ing the hun­gry, and res­cu­ing the Pan­da Bear -spend some time bal­anc­ing our check­book. There could be an iden­ti­ty thief lurk­ing around the ATM. Just a cau­tion, it could be that you for­got to deposit that check from the sale of your Cel­i­ca. Thought you’d nev­er get that off your hands. It’s pos­si­ble that you will break your leg or a table leg. The signs are murky. May just be a minor acci­dent in the kitchen with a knife. Check the cord on your toast­er. Remain calm.

Scor­pio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Diplo­ma­cy is the art of lead­er­ship. Easy does it, even you know bet­ter than every­one else. Your friends and your lover are still sting­ing over that last encounter near the end of Novem­ber. What was that about? It is going to be more dif­fi­cult than usu­al for you to com­mu­ni­cate in the last week to week and a half of Decem­ber. There could be a postal strike and the UPS truck may break down before it gets to Riley on the 20th. The sol­stice is going to be great as long as you remem­ber that the car­rot is bet­ter than the stick.

Sagit­tar­ius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

The Archer will hit the mark this month inspite of a very antsy start. Be patient, be care­ful. Some­thing unex­pect­ed is like­ly to hap­pen. It could be ter­ri­ble, it could be ter­rif­ic. It might seem ter­ri­ble at first and then become ter­rif­ic. You’ll get the results of that biop­sy and be much relieved. If you’re doc­tor dri­ves a Fer­ar­ri, decline fur­ther tests. A trip to Cal­i­for­nia is not good right now. There will be seis­mic activ­i­ty.

Capri­corn (Dec.22-Jan. 19)

This might be a good day to start tak­ing that Prozac pre­scrip­tion the doc­tor gave you last month. I know you like to be in con­trol, but it’s real­ly hard when every­one around is either yelling or cry­ing or com­plain­ing. Nobody is on time, they lose things, break things, wreck your car and leave rings in the bath­tub. You don’t know what’s com­ing next. Take a Prozac. If you flushed them down the toi­let, see if your local herbal­ist can point you in the direc­tion of some­thing sooth­ing.

Aquar­ius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Good time to prac­tice patience. If you are an under­tak­er, just remem­ber that Jan­u­ary is tra­di­tion­al­ly a busy month.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

What’s this? The fish has spit out his tail. Wow, you are swim­ming in dif­fer­ent waters now. Cre­ativ­i­ty and philo­soph­i­cal break­throughs are the order of the month. If you are steak and pota­toes, I won’t be sur­prized to see you order­ing the tofu burg­er with sweet pota­to fries at the Wilbur Pub and ami­ably con­vers­ing with a tourist from New Jer­sey.

If Your Birth­day Is in Decem­ber

You share a birth­month with Jesus Christ so what’s the point of mak­ing a long list.

Dis­claimer: This horo­scope is pre­sent­ed for enter­tain­ment pur­pos­es only. The Ger­maine Truth does not endorse any par­tic­u­lar sys­tem of div­ina­tion.
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